Totally bored stiff on a Tuesday night? Tired of the humdrum of the boring t.v shows on you’re free-view box? Don’t feel comfortable watching fat porn with you’re friends with the lights on? I know how you feel! Totes! So My idea is Tuesday night tattoo club, we’ve seen arts and crafts club, Tye dye Wednesday, rob the corner shop Friday and get embarrassingly drunk house party Saturday. This is a fine and refined concept which will be with you for the rest of you’re life, how AWESOME. I’ll give you the run down of what we did and if you’re half as stupid as we are you’ll actually do some proper research and try not to get everyone drunk before we start art-ing off on each other.

You’ll need:

Sewing needles (Lots)

Sewing Thread

A Pencil

White Spirit

India Acrylic ink

Someone who is competent at drawing

A lighter

Mood music

Beers and preferably spirits.


Please don’t use us as the bench mark for health and safety. Don’t share needles and make sure every thing is super clean, or you’ll DIE!?

1st Sterilize the needles by frying them until there is no more water in the pan.


2nd Chose a decent and not too difficult and intricate design because it wont work and it’ll just look like you’ve got some serious self harm issues. Nothing too fancy either because it won’t work.


3rd Make sure you’re half way drunk and also had something to eat, we had a curry which i feel made sure we were fully nurished and stood to suffer more from the toilet than the pearcing needle.


What you do is after sterelizing the needle, burn the tip witha lighter for a little while, then tie the thread around the needle and pencil so the needle is secure and there is only about a milimeter of the needle showing. Draw the image you’re gonna be stuck with on you’re body part of choice then start dipping the needle in the ink and making sure you’re skin is getting pearced. Clean the spot regularly so you can see what you’re doing. It’s not very pleasurable but provided you know there will be alittle pain and you’re not a totally pussy at this point you’ll be fine. Here are some we made earlier.

P.s I don’t know why the pictures are sideways it’s pissing me off, some-one is getting sacked or kilt!!

Unkle Crack