Ri-Ri really makes an effort in a ladylike dress with minimal titty, and some freaky white woman drowning in her own mid life crisis complete with bleached blonde corn rows and a sleeve of flower tattoos spoils the Kodak Moment. If you’re going to get a full sleeve then do it properly – loads of hellish women with their boobs out, flames, motorbikes, Stay Puft man, people puking, Illuminati symbolism, the Queen Mother shape shifting into a reptile. Basically a manner of things that will make your grandchildren quiver and hide under the table every time you roll up your cardigan at Christmas dinner in the 2060’s…

NOT FLOWERS.

I should stop now, really I should… but everybody else looks so formal – Rihanna in a long sleeved dress (rare?!) and a man rocking a tux. This broad rolls up in a sleeveless white dress with black shoes and a pink & orange clutch. Did I mention this is a P Diddy party for Ciroc? A party thrown by man who often asks guests to dress exclusively in one colour? Ri-Ri knew this, but then again she doesn’t look like a female wrestler.

There’s always one!