If I EVER get married then I’m going to play this track as my first dance just to be a complete prick. ON THEIR HONEYMOONS THEY SLEPT IN SEPARATE ROOMS. What the dilly oh? What about sexy time? Thought that all died after six months together…not straight away? C’mon Freda…be real.
You’re probably thinking this is a sure fire hit at a wedding party. You think it’d just work…like how salt beef so beautifully compliments a tasty bagel. BUT NO. It makes people do weird things. It makes Uncle Nobhead shimmy on over and ask you for a dance. It makes granny do the bogle. It makes people try it on with your siblings. It makes people start rubbing wedding cake all over each other and play footsie under the table and make sexy time. You should avoid it. People get too frisky and it just gets ugly.
I guess this is a nine minute epic and technology has absolutely skull-f–ked the general populaces level of concentration, tolerance and patience so people would probably clear the dancefloor, cry, stamp their feet and throw things if you played this. Plus the bride dies. And I have no f–king clue why. I know they got married in the desert and rockstars generally live in Cali but it’s ONLY rain. You got people doing Hollywood stunt dives into the wedding cake and hiding under tables. UNNECESSARY. Try living in Manchester for a day you clowns. Does it rain so bad the bride drowns? Doubt it. Did she get struck by lightning? Did a giant lizard come out of the sky and eat her? Answers on a postcard please.
