Bless, its been a tough old few months for my muse Amanda Bynes. She upped sticks from Hollywood to New York City and everything went to shit.

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Soooo tumblr stripper babe 

Its almost that crazy I can’t write about it, because it just feels like I’m stuck inside my own imagination and somebody just put me on a 60° spin with a bunch of neon duvets covered in lip liner and matted hair extensions.

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‘I’m Sucking On A Sour Patch Kid Listening To Music Getting Ready For Tonight :D.’


– She turned up to an adult gymnastics class and sources say she was wearing ‘fishnets and a leotard that looked like lingerie…Amanda just walked out on the mat, was spinning around in circles and mumbling to herself’.

– It all started with the driving charges, like it always does. Driving after booze pipes, driving and keffing of weed, driving on the wrong side of the road with a stripper in the back etc etc.

– Actual tweet: ‘I want @Drake to murder my vagina.’

– She walked out of a cubicle and into the main reception of NYC tanning salon ‘Beach Bum’ completely naked…if in doubt, don’t read the signs babe.

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Smoking questionable cigarettes

– She spent two hours in the Little Cupcake Bake Shop toilets. Just chillin right, eating cakes.

– She got her cheeks pierced. So Hollywood yeah? So fashionable.

– She’s shaved her head due to ‘hair damage’. Britney’s constantly on speed dial.

– She’s fallen out with her parents. Macaulay!!!

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Life sucks y’all

I always remember an expression from Vice Magazine ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ and it is so fitting for her behaviour…‘tobogganing down moonbeams’. Always wondered what that would feel like. Probably that hyper real feeling you get after 5 shots of tequila, a doobie and some homemade acid bought from a Hells Angel drinking Mojitos in a bougie city bar. Hang on…

I know this isn’t a classy subject, but its Friday and its Freaky and its me so what else did you expect? On a level though, its LiLo 2.0 and I’m not encouraging this madness. Real humans used as a vehicle for humiliation and entertainment? (Looks away disapprovingly)

On to the next one…