OR HOW TO LOSE YOUR SHIT IN THE MOST UNDIGNIFIED WAY POSSIBLE WHILST THE WORLD IS WATCHING
Soooo tumblr stripper babe
Its almost that crazy I can’t write about it, because it just feels like I’m stuck inside my own imagination and somebody just put me on a 60° spin with a bunch of neon duvets covered in lip liner and matted hair extensions.
‘I’m Sucking On A Sour Patch Kid Listening To Music Getting Ready For Tonight :D.’
THE ANTICS
– She turned up to an adult gymnastics class and sources say she was wearing ‘fishnets and a leotard that looked like lingerie…Amanda just walked out on the mat, was spinning around in circles and mumbling to herself’.
– It all started with the driving charges, like it always does. Driving after booze pipes, driving and keffing of weed, driving on the wrong side of the road with a stripper in the back etc etc.
– Actual tweet: ‘I want @Drake to murder my vagina.’
– She walked out of a cubicle and into the main reception of NYC tanning salon ‘Beach Bum’ completely naked…if in doubt, don’t read the signs babe.
Smoking questionable cigarettes
– She spent two hours in the Little Cupcake Bake Shop toilets. Just chillin right, eating cakes.
– She got her cheeks pierced. So Hollywood yeah? So fashionable.
– She’s shaved her head due to ‘hair damage’. Britney’s constantly on speed dial.
– She’s fallen out with her parents. Macaulay!!!
Life sucks y’all
I always remember an expression from Vice Magazine ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ and it is so fitting for her behaviour…‘tobogganing down moonbeams’. Always wondered what that would feel like. Probably that hyper real feeling you get after 5 shots of tequila, a doobie and some homemade acid bought from a Hells Angel drinking Mojitos in a bougie city bar. Hang on…
I know this isn’t a classy subject, but its Friday and its Freaky and its me so what else did you expect? On a level though, its LiLo 2.0 and I’m not encouraging this madness. Real humans used as a vehicle for humiliation and entertainment? (Looks away disapprovingly)
On to the next one…
