a bum is not just for sitting

Amazing right? I saw this a while ago and I'm now recruiting men to practice on. Please apply within.

I don't know which I prefer to be honest - dancing around a man on the floor before proceeding to climb upon him, hook myself on and bash my arse into his face - aka "surra de bunda" - or lying on the floor spread eagle, waiting for a man to jump off a ladder, land in my crotch and commence dry humping the shit out of me - aka "daggering".

"Surra De Bunda" is the newest dance craze brought to us from the clubs and streets of Brazil. As we have seen, it involves a man's face, a woman's bum and it's really weird. Obviously I love it. 

I think we've gathered by now that I'm a huge fan of dances that allow my backside to get attacked. So much so that I intend on tricking Tim and Barry into letting me curate a Just Jam "Slack Dancing Special", where we will spend the entire night listening to bashment and brazilian beats and doing moves like these. 

The idea of bouncing a man's head off my bum is very satisfying. It seems like a good way of relieving anger whilst simultaneously initiating...you know...the good stuff. It's probably best not to do it with a man that has a long thin Jewish-style nose cos it might break, and it's also probably best not to do it if you're a flatty batty girl because that shit will NOT be comfortable for anyone involved. As long as you're none of the above and you're clean and hygienic then get face daggering.

Gosh. The uses for a padded, cushioned, shock absorbant bum are endless.