ORIGINALLY POSTED VIA THE CUT 15/12/2011 written by Amelia Dimoldenberg


This week the Hip-hop collective Piff Gang (Phaze One, Super Dertie, Relly Rellz, Skout, Don Silk, Prince & Skitz ) took me to Nandos. I was really excited. Some may call me promiscuous for going on a date with the seven members of Piff Gang. I call you jealous. We were meant to be meeting at 6, however after half an hour sitting alone in Nandos I began to realise that the P in Piff Gang did not stand for punctual.

 Have you ever been on a date to a chicken shop before?

R Yeah course everyone has, if you haven’t. well then you’re not from London

Don Silk (DS) Well this isn’t considered a chicken shop

Skout (S) It’s a glorified chicken shop

DS No, it’s not even a glorified chicken shop- it’s become like that cause back in the day Nandos was the wave you get me

On a scale of 1-10 how excited were you before this date?

Honestly I wasn’t excited, I was..interested

DS Intrigued

S Yeah intrigued

R I wasn’t excited, because it’s round the corner from my house and I always come Nandos

Anna the waitress, as her name tag reads, interrupts the interview with plates of chicken

DS Look you’ve got the same name backwards!

Anna did not reply.

Did you make an effort to get ready for this date? I hope you did

R You’re talkin’ about 45 minutes, I started with the moisturiser, had a shave and then I had a pedicure

I don’t agree with smoking weed. Would this be an issue if we were to continue our relationship beyond Nandos?

S Not gonna lie, I don’t really understand the concept of this

Confusion quickly turned into awkwardness as I had to explain that our time at Nandos was something more than friendship.

DS Your hair looks nice


If the whole of Piff Gang was dying in a fire who would you save? You can only save two

DS Ah crooked heart times

Skitz (SK) I would save Jonny and Silk, because Jonny would drive me home after our awful time in the fire

DS I’d have to save lil Callum

Remember everyone else dies

DS we all die eventually

R I’d pour petrol on the fire!

…Suddenly the mood was quite morbid

What does crooked heart mean?

SK Its means you’re spiteful and untrustworthy. Don’t trust us. Don’t trust this interview

DS I’m not even in Piff Gang

R I’m from the street; I just got dropped off here

SK I just got sent here, now I’m in your presence.I like your presence, do you wanna get out of here? ;)

Moving swiftly on, who’s the hardest working member of Piff Gang?

SK I’d say me

DS If you mean musically, I’d say Phaze and me

R Phaze just sits and writes all day

Describe Piff Gang in three words

In Unison Wavey

DS Trill

S and Pizzy

If your music was a piece of chicken how spicy would it be – to Nandos standards?

DS Real Hot!

SK Nah you see I don’t want it to burn my mouth, so I’d go for the medium – just a little tingle

What’s the worst date you have ever been on?

In Unison A date to Nandos. In Chalk farm

Maybe it was just a coincidence that we were there right now…

Who is your dream woman? Apart from me

DS Mila Kunis

S I’m not gonna lie there is one chick, she’s called Natalie Suliman

R Ahhh don’t take my girl, she’s from my ends

SK Mila Kunis is my wifey, swear. I love her, and she loves me. We’re having kids. I have a picture of her on my phone… I mean I’m not in it with her but I still have a picture of her.

What are Piff Gang’s plans for the future?

DS To go global

Reach out to more people and get London on the map

Which artist would you most like to collaborate with, dead or alive?

In Unison Max B 100%

Could you please rate this…glorified chicken shop out of 10

DS This is not a chicken shop so it can’t be rated.

SK Not gonna lie, I don’t know why we’re here

Have you enjoyed our date?

DS I’ve enjoyed meeting you, not the chicken.

S There’s too many man, we need some more girls in here. Remember when you come for a date with Piff Gang you have to bring at least 10 girls minimum.

DS It’s a double figure thing

Can I join piff gang? ;)

S You need to have an initiation test

R If you smoke weed you can join Piff Gang

DS You have to get Piff Gang tattooed on you, so we know it’s real.

Thank you very much,

SK Do we kiss now?

Find out more about Piff Gang here http://piffgang.tumblr.com/