ORIGINALLY POSTED VIA THE CUT 15/12/2011 written by Amelia Dimoldenberg
This week the Hip-hop collective Piff Gang (Phaze One, Super Dertie, Relly Rellz, Skout, Don Silk, Prince & Skitz ) took me to Nandos. I was really excited. Some may call me promiscuous for going on a date with the seven members of Piff Gang. I call you jealous. We were meant to be meeting at 6, however after half an hour sitting alone in Nandos I began to realise that the P in Piff Gang did not stand for punctual.
Have you ever been on a date to a chicken shop before?
R Yeah course everyone has, if you haven’t. well then you’re not from London
Don Silk (DS) Well this isn’t considered a chicken shop
Skout (S) It’s a glorified chicken shop
DS No, it’s not even a glorified chicken shop- it’s become like that cause back in the day Nandos was the wave you get me
On a scale of 1-10 how excited were you before this date?
S Honestly I wasn’t excited, I was..interested
DS Intrigued
S Yeah intrigued
R I wasn’t excited, because it’s round the corner from my house and I always come Nandos
Anna the waitress, as her name tag reads, interrupts the interview with plates of chicken
DS Look you’ve got the same name backwards!
Anna did not reply.
Did you make an effort to get ready for this date? I hope you did
R You’re talkin’ about 45 minutes, I started with the moisturiser, had a shave and then I had a pedicure
I don’t agree with smoking weed. Would this be an issue if we were to continue our relationship beyond Nandos?
S Not gonna lie, I don’t really understand the concept of this
Confusion quickly turned into awkwardness as I had to explain that our time at Nandos was something more than friendship.
DS Your hair looks nice
…thanks
If the whole of Piff Gang was dying in a fire who would you save? You can only save two
DS Ah crooked heart times
Skitz (SK) I would save Jonny and Silk, because Jonny would drive me home after our awful time in the fire
DS I’d have to save lil Callum
Remember everyone else dies
DS we all die eventually
R I’d pour petrol on the fire!
…Suddenly the mood was quite morbid
What does crooked heart mean?
SK Its means you’re spiteful and untrustworthy. Don’t trust us. Don’t trust this interview
DS I’m not even in Piff Gang
R I’m from the street; I just got dropped off here
SK I just got sent here, now I’m in your presence.I like your presence, do you wanna get out of here? 
Moving swiftly on, who’s the hardest working member of Piff Gang?
SK I’d say me
DS If you mean musically, I’d say Phaze and me
R Phaze just sits and writes all day
Describe Piff Gang in three words
In Unison Wavey
DS Trill
S and Pizzy
If your music was a piece of chicken how spicy would it be – to Nandos standards?
DS Real Hot!
SK Nah you see I don’t want it to burn my mouth, so I’d go for the medium – just a little tingle
What’s the worst date you have ever been on?
In Unison A date to Nandos. In Chalk farm
Maybe it was just a coincidence that we were there right now…
Who is your dream woman? Apart from me
DS Mila Kunis
S I’m not gonna lie there is one chick, she’s called Natalie Suliman
R Ahhh don’t take my girl, she’s from my ends
SK Mila Kunis is my wifey, swear. I love her, and she loves me. We’re having kids. I have a picture of her on my phone… I mean I’m not in it with her but I still have a picture of her.
What are Piff Gang’s plans for the future?
DS To go global
R Reach out to more people and get London on the map
Which artist would you most like to collaborate with, dead or alive?
In Unison Max B 100%
Could you please rate this…glorified chicken shop out of 10
DS This is not a chicken shop so it can’t be rated.
SK Not gonna lie, I don’t know why we’re here
Have you enjoyed our date?
DS I’ve enjoyed meeting you, not the chicken.
S There’s too many man, we need some more girls in here. Remember when you come for a date with Piff Gang you have to bring at least 10 girls minimum.
DS It’s a double figure thing
Can I join piff gang?
S You need to have an initiation test
R If you smoke weed you can join Piff Gang
DS You have to get Piff Gang tattooed on you, so we know it’s real.
Thank you very much,
SK Do we kiss now?
Find out more about Piff Gang here http://piffgang.tumblr.com/
