ORIGINALLY POSTED VIA 21/8/2012, written by Amelia Dimoldenberg
So here I am again, looking for love in a chicken shop. Sadly dating hip-hop artists hasn’t really worked out for me so I have decided to move into the more romantic side of the music industry, dubstep.
Hello, what is your name?
Describe yourself in one word.
You’re from Israel; do they have a lot of chicken shops in Israel?
Not really, not that I’m aware of, no. We’ve got a lot of Kebab shops.
What are the girls like in Tel Aviv?
They are very prude. Much more prude than the girls in England, I like English girls.
What is the most romantic dubstep track you have ever produced?
Do you think it’s possible to serenade someone to dubstep?
Borgore began to recite the lyrics to Skrillex’s ‘Cinema’; a track which basically consists of the line ‘I could watch you forever’ which I just found quite creepy.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Sorry, I’ve got some chicken stuck in my teeth. No, I do not.
Are you looking for a girlfriend?
Well I didn’t come to a chicken shop looking for a girlfriend that’s for sure.
What do you look for in a girl?
She needs to be…what’s the word in English…ah yes; she needs to be amazing in blow jobs and obviously she has to have normal size nipples.
Yes, obviously. Do you have any hobbies?
Do you have any pets?
I have a pet bacon.
Did he mean pig? No, probably not.
Please tell me more about your pet bacon, do you take it on walks?
Yes, I like to take my bacon on walks to eat bacon. I want to ask you questions now.
WHAT! This has never happened before…
Ohhh you want to ask me questions?
Actually I’m not drunk enough to ask you questions, maybe we should get drunk.
Maybe we shouldn’t. Would you like a chip?
No they look disgusting. I wish we had gone to KFC.
I wish you had gone to KFC too.
You know the chickens they use in KFC have four legs.
I found this statement quite hard to believe from a man who, 2 minutes ago had told me his pet was a strip of bacon.
What are you doing after this?
I’m going to go rock climbing.
You’re right, these chips are disgusting.
Here let me find you a good chip.
It’s sad that I’ve reached a point in my life where someone searching a bag of chips to find one which isn’t green and presenting it to me can cause the response:
That’s the most romantic thing a guy has done for me.
Are you having problems dating?
Is this a cover for you trying to go on real dates?
Is this you sitting at home thinking you could trick musicians into going on dates with you by presenting this as an ‘interview’?
Hold on a second.
You know, you really should be going about this differently, why are you getting guys to take you to chicken shops? Get them to take you to nice places.
As I sat there in Chicken Cottage, nibbling on a green chip, Gotye playing on the radio and **International dubstep star** Borgore sitting in front of me I thought, Amelia, you really do need to get out more.
This chicken shop looks like a massive toilet.
I know this is really rude but what’s your name again?
Borgore’s latest EP ‘Decisions’ is out now to download http://www.buygore.com/splash/ and he will be performing at Creamfields and Bestival Festival later this summer.